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Your trouble is, you can't resist a challenge. Your partner CAN. All too easily. Your partner loves nothing more than to resist every challenge that ever crops up.

Nobody, but nobody, challenges your loved one and gets away with it. Apart, of course, from you. Some might describe the ensuing conflict as 'dynamic tension'. That's probably what you think it is. There's something quite thrilling about teasing, seducing or pushing someone past the point where they usually say 'enough is enough'.

When the object of the exercise is sensual pleasure, that's perfect. It probably explains why your poor, long suffering loved one keeps coming back for more. Yet when the same principle is applied to daily life, it makes every conversation a struggle; a tussle for power or a wrestling match for control.

As I say, you can't resist a challenge. It amuses you to keep exploring new options. Yet your partner prefers familiarity. Routine. consistency. Yawn.

How can someone be so lovely and yet so unadventurous? This is by no means a hopeless relationship. But it needs more than hope if it is to thrive. Next week, when we look at the love computer once more, we will see what else it may need - and how to supply it.

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