Comedy legend Joan River passed away last month at the age of 81. But while the beloved funny lady may be gone, her legacy lives on.
An actress, writer, producer and tireless television personality — most recently known for her successful E! Fashion Police series — Joan was a true entertainment and comedy pioneer. As a female stand-up comedian, she presented her material in a manner that was disarmingly frank, confessional, frequently confrontational and sometimes downright aggressive, paving the way for a generation of comics in her wake. She was a genuine trailblazer.
To mark this fearless funny lady's passing, we've selected our favorite quotes from her sprawling back catalogue of wisecracks.
"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it."
"At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents."
"I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware."
"I wish I had a twin so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery."
"I succeeded by saying what everyone else was thinking"
"The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I’ve been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark."
"I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."
"Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
"I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again."