In the season premiere of The Mindy Project this week on Hulu, Mindy Kaling's character (spoiler alert!) dreamed she was married to Joseph Gordon Levitt and then woke up to a proposal from her baby daddy, Danny Castellano. But in real life, the actress, writer and producer worries that she may never get to walk down the aisle.
In her new book Why Not Me?, the 36-year-old writes that she wakes up in the middle of the night worry about marriage and babies.
"In my thirties, I gained a sense of calm that came from professional stability and, although this is not backed by science, a general slowing of my metabolism, which is why I can gain seven pounds from eating one heavy dinner," she admits. "As calm as I might be, still, about once a month, I wake up at 4 AM and lie in the dark worrying about the same handful of things."
Those fears are that she "will never have a husband and all my female friends will," and if she does have kids, what if they "are really young when I die because I waited too long to have them?"
If she does find 'the one,' there's another little complication: Mindy doesn't like weddings. "At its heart, my annoyance or impatience with my friends' weddings stems from my own panic and abandonment issues. 'Why are you leaving me behind like this, friend?' " she writes.
Mindy also reveals in the book that she had a year-long romance with an aide to President Barack Obama, who she says is named 'Will.' Their romance culminated in a "late night of passion."
"The next morning when he was leaving, he was so shy and adorable in my foyer, that when I closed the door, I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle my scream," she reveals. In the end, the romance fizzled. "It never seemed to crystallize into anything more," Mindy writes. "All I had to do now was move on. In the words of both Mariah Carey and Taylor Swift, I knew I could shake it off."
The former Office star also writes about her feelings for her former co-star and ex-boyfriend B.J. Novak. Describing their relationship as "weird as hell," she says that "he is not my boyfriend, but he is not exactly my best friend." Suggesting that Facebook would categorize what they have as "it's complicated," she adds, "but it's not complicated to me." In the words of The Office's Michael Scott, "he's my soup snake." (That’s Scott-speak for "soul mate.")