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It shouldn't be allowed. There probably ought to be a law against a love like yours. How can anyone have a bond so deep, a sympathy so great, an empathy so special?

It's not even as if you have to work at it. All you do is relax together... and it all happens naturally. And it keeps on happening. All those slushy, cheesy, awful romantic songs seem to make perfect sense when you are together. Violins swell up every time you look into each others eyes. Can't you show just a little respect for the rest of us who live in the world of cynicism?

We don't look at you both and think 'how wonderful'. We think, how dreadful. Fancy being in such a state of soppy agreement. Fancy being so devoid of critical perspective. Fancy being so trusting, so sincere, so treacly and so wrapped up in deeply private world. And you do fancy it. Very much so. About as much as you fancy each other. Yuk. Where's the drama? Where's the dynamic tension? Where's the guilt?

Ah. There it all is. It is in the way that the two of you interact with the rest of the world. Not, always, very healthily or skilfully. And because you are such a pair of watery pushovers, if only you can be somehow made to feel guilty enough about this, you will agree to separate... albeit to the tune of a thousand more violins.

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